Cooking for Guys (Part IV: Boiling Water)

Q: Wow, only four lessons and already we're learning to boil water! Is this an accelerated course or something?
A: You'd be amazed at how quickly you can learn to cook.

Q: I've never been in an Honors class before. Well, once in High School I was in Advanced Cabinetmaking, which was sort of like an honors class, but nothing like this. Honors Water Boiling! I should call my mom...
A: Why don't you put that pot full of water on the stove?

Q: Won't it catch on fire? My pants caught on fire when I sat on the stove.
A: The pot is mightier than the stove.

Q: Someday I too will be mightier than the stove.
A: Doubtful. Put the pot on the stove.

Q: Okay. Now what do I do?
A: You wait five or ten minutes.

Q: Really? Let's play video games for a while.
A: Not while we have a pot on the stove. Never leave anything unattended on the stove.

Q: Why not?
A: Bad things can happen if you leave a pot on the stove, even if there's only water in the pot.

Q: So, we're a couple guys, stuck watching a pot. No girls around, just the two of us. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
A: Are you thinking...

Q: That we should do what guys do when left alone?
A: That act guys have always done when left alone?

Q: That most intimate and taboo of bondings? That most socially-unacceptable of delectual fraternizations?
A: Yes! Yes!

Q: *belch.*
A: *Belch.*

A: *Belch.* You win.

Q: Hey, look! There are little air bubbles around the edge of the water. May I touch them?
A: No. Those mean the water is starting to heat up. It is very hot now. As you may recall from Chemistry, many substances have what is called a "boiling point" where adding thermal energy will cause the substance to change to a gas. Water is one such substance.

Q: Chemistry is a very masculine subject. There's smoke coming out of the pot. Heh heh... smoking pot. Is it on fire? Should I poor water on the... water?
A: That isn't smoke. The white, cloudy substance you see rising from the pot is called steam. It is actually water in it's gaseous form.

Q: Your pot's gaseous. Gaseous. What a great word. It's bubbling!
A: You can tell that water is boiling because bubbles start to rise. If you're not careful with a boiling pot, it might boil over or worse, if all the water turns to gas, it could boil dry.

Q: Bubbles! I'm going to pop one.
A: No! According to Safety Rule # 236, trying to pop the bubbles in boiling water can lead to-

Q: AUGH! Severe burning sensation!
A: Try running that under cold water.

Q: I'm a little scared of water now. Could I just stick it in ice cream?
A: Mmmm... ice cream. I'll get some ice cream out of the freezer. Why don't you run your burned hand under the faucet while I eat ice cream?

Q: I've already got some water in this pot. Perhaps I could pour that over my hand to save water?
A: Why do I have a feeling that we've gone over something like this before?

Q: Oh! I get it. The water on the stove is boiling. If I poured the boiling water over my hand, we'd have to start over and boil more water. Want to have another burping contest?
A: Go ahead and run your hand under the cold water. Perhaps we'll learn how to do pasta when you've recovered.