(Baghdad, Iraq) In a Monday speech at the Iraqi Parliamentary Bunker, Interim Iraqi Prime Minister Aya Allawi saying the recent terror attacks were “mean spirited” and “getting kind of old.” The strongly worded statement went on to say that if the terrorists could sit quietly while he and the other grownups drafted a constitution, he would form a General Security Directorate for them to play with.

An Allawi spokesman said, “You Westerners call everything a strongly worded statement.

Within hours, Islamist website responded with postings calling Allawi a “spoilsport,” a “wimp,” and a “brown-nosing coalition’s pet.” On poster, identified only as Z4rq4w1 wrote, “Allawi sux0r. Mr. Allawi is an 1nf1d3l l4m3r. 4ll4h is 1337. F00k 411 joo n00bs!!11.”

In a recent Marco.org exclusive interview, Allawi confessed that while hilarious and exhilarating at first, the constant explosive attempts on his life were getting kind of annoying. For instance, he says, “I have to take a different road to work every day. Same thing every morning. I’m driving to work and BAM the car behind me blows up. Then there’s this huge crater that needs to be fixed. I hate road construction.”

When asked why he thought insurgents kept trying to blow him up, Allawi said, “Probably my explosive personality.” Then he leaned forward and whispered, “Just kidding. It’s the name. They always pick on the guy with the funny name. I can hardly blame them—it’s the jingle.”

Allawi came to powie
Then he got an owie.
Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah
His house went BOOM!

Dick Cheney spoke before the U.N. seeking a resolution condemning the recent terror attacks as “Unamerican.”

France has threatened to veto the measure, saying, “Who is the United States to say what is and isn’t American?” The French counterproposal would send the terrorists to bed without their supper.