You may remember a recent Suck List entry for the Entrepreneurs Unlimited "web design" company. I ended my review by saying, "I honestly hope that this site is a joke."

Apparently, it's not. I got an email today from their webmaster that looked similar to the "design" of their "website":

Entrepreneurs Unlimited:

First of all we wanted to thank you for the unsolicited attention to our Web site.  We were going to debate your views, but hell...I've got underwear older than you are.

It's unfortunate someone who has all of that (alleged) computer knowledge is so anti-social, and finds nothing better to do with his life than to attempt to make himself feel better by attacking others.

Somehow I rather doubt this response to your "blog" will ever be seen by anyone other than you.

PS....when you've won as many awards as we have, maybe we can discuss this further when you grow up.

Most Sincerely;

Webmaster

My worst fear has been confirmed. I think this website is actually real.

I have no idea how they discovered my review. It might be possible that they searched Google for their own name and saw that my review is the first result. They probably would have noticed this on the way to their website on the second page of results.

I should probably respond to this email somehow, but I'm still in shock. I really thought, "This website is so incredibly awful, especially for a web design company, that it must be a parody." Well, I guess I can say a few things:

If you have underwear from over 22 years ago, I think it's time to go shopping. I certainly wouldn't brag about that. I'm interested, however, in your laundry technique. I can never get more than 2-3 years of use out of a pair of boxers without the elastic or seams wearing out. How often do you wash yours? What detergent do you use? Cold/cold or warm/cold? Fabric softener?

Your grammar is miserable. It's just as bad on your site. Poor grammar makes your entire business look unprofessional. Of course, the animated GIFs, large marquee titles, and loud background images aren't doing you any favors either.

My site, which gets less than 50 unique visitors per day, is ranking far higher than yours on the most popular search engine. I am a regular person without any design training and I have never advertised for my site or even submitted it to search engines or directories. You are a web design company. Your job is to make websites for people that attract the attention of search engines, then publicize these sites as necessary. Don't you see anything wrong here?

Your implied insult is correct: I have never won any awards. I don't see this as a problem. Do your awards come with giant trophies to put in a display case? Do your awards increase your social recognition and romantic opportunities? Can you even name a single internet award? I sure can't, and I've been a heavy internet user for almost a decade. I looked up the Golden Web Awards, and it looks like they're given to hundreds of terrible sites each month.

Anyone can give an award. I could give myself an award. In fact, I'll give you another award to add to your impressive collection.

It will match your design nicely. It was made over 4 years ago, using only the finest filters and layer effects in Photoshop 5. Display it proudly.

Maybe someday I'll win an award.