Best Buy rebrands itself as "Xtreme Service Plan Zone"

Los Angeles - Consumer retail giant Best Buy, Inc. today announced its plans to restructure and rebrand itself under a new name, "Xtreme Service Plan Zone" (XSPZ). Under the new organization, the retailer will cease the sale of all current merchandise in order to focus on extended service plans, the company's most profitable items.

"After evaluating our current business model strategies, we have decided to increase our focus on our most successful initiatives moving forward," said Earl Focht, a spokesman from Best Buy. "Service plans are high-revenue items to maximize our investment capital strategy in the forward term."

"We have always been encouraged to maximize the sale of extended service plans, and our service in other areas suffered," said sales associate Sarah Woodyard. "Now we can focus on the sale of service plans to better serve our customers."

Since the other merchandise will be discontinued, Best Buy will hold a large clearance sale this weekend. "We'll have some great deals," said Woodyard. "You can get a 160 GB hard drive for only $3.99." A spokesman later clarified that this price is after a $40 "instant rebate," a $60 mail-in rebate, and a $25 "check" toward the future purchase of XSPZ products. In addition, the customer is required to purchase a 2-year Priority Extended Service Plan for $79.99.

"People used to complain about the prices of service plans," said Woodyard. "We've now increased the value by including a box or clamshell packaging around the brochure."

"We want to convey our intentions and reassurance that we continue to provide a maximized value for consumers seeking peace-of-mind for their important purchase," added Focht.

Jordan Cohen, an Ohio resident, speculated about the motive behind the reorganization. "Ohio has just sued Best Buy for an assortment of fraudulent activities against consumers," said Cohen. "Are they trying to overshadow the negative publicity by announcing a massive restructuring of their company?"

"I approve of Best Buy's decision," said Kathy Carlson, general manager of Staples, Inc. store number 864. "We are currently investigating this possibility at Staples."

Best Buy associates declined to answer questions from regarding the target products for the new warranties.